Plastic Words, Genuine Actions
Omfg, now that you mention it, Mokou and Kaguya look the same except clothes and colors. They have the same hair, how did I not notice.

[[Mokou and Kaguya look almost exactly the same physically. The only differences in their hair, aside from the obvious factor that is the color, is that Kaguya has longer side bangs than Mokou, while Mokou’s mane is longer than Kaguya’s. Otherwise, they both sport the “hime cut”, consisting of long hair with blunt bangs and blunt ends. It makes sense for them to both sport the same haircut, because they were both princesses in the historical context and timeframe where the hair style thrived the most. Strictly speaking, both Mokou and Kaguya hail from the Asuka Era in Japan, with Mokou being a princess of the Fujiwara clan, while Kaguya was a princess from the Moon, where fashion was based on Asuka, Nara and Heian-era Japan. Thus, it makes sense for them to look almost identical in these regards. If you pick apart their color schemes, accessories and such, it’s evident how similar they look.]]


"Ok ok, so, story time."


"So, this one time, Kaguya and I were killin’ each other, nothin’ new there, when we realized it got pretty borin’. We had been fightin’ a tad too much and, hey, even for freaks like us, we like variety, and honestly, by then, it felt more like a dance than a fight, which might sound pretty dang romantic to anyone hearin’ this, but for those involved, it’s actually god dang borin’, ‘cause we want to crush the other, not seduce. So we sorta stopped fightin’ and instead we came up with a little idea."


"The idea was that she was gonna bleach her hair white, and I was to dye mine black, and we both acquired some contact lenses. Then, we traded clothes and decided to spend a few days in each other’s shoes to see how many people would notice. I mean, we knew off the bat that Eirin and Keine were going to notice, but they weren’t the main dish, so to speak."


"Long story short, I led Tewi on for a good while before she realized it and, pppbbbt, she was like "Woah, you asshole!" and then we high fived. Reisen took waaay longer, it was actually when I cackled wildly after trippin’ her not accidentally off a staircase, and she recognized my laughter. On Kaguya’s end of the deal, she apparently had some good fun with the kiddos at Keine’s temple school, and spent most of her time by the village doing this and that. It was a pretty good break for the two of us."

The Rafflesia That Wasn’t (yuukakazami)


But of course it was easy to get into the Garden of the Sun, even with her dour attitude, Kazami Yuuka was always one to share the beauty of nature with others. It was getting out after you enraged the master of the house that was the hard part, really, given her hair trigger temper. And as for her gate keeper….well, Yuuka would only hire the best, and Elly would only work for the best, or at least that’s the tale they would spin if asked. And while she watched Mokou’s smile drop, Elly couldn’t help but break into a grin of her own, not exactly mocking but at least somewhat teasing.


"What kind of person would I be if I let a lie go past without challenging it, Miss Fujiwara? Certainly not one fit for service as a gatekeeper, I’ll say that much! And you’d be quite correct in your assumption as well. I’m Elly, retired Shinigami, now gatekeeper of Garden of the Sun." The introduction warranted a somewhat lazy salute, knocking the hat further up the gatekeeper’s head as she did so. "If you want to go in, you’re free to enter, provided you don’t cause trouble. Miss Yuuka does enjoy talking about her flowers, after all, and she’d be happy to talk to someone about them. As for my nap, well…let’s just say I’m just as much here to keep the danger in as out, eh?"

"Heh, no worries, no worries, I feel you there. Ain’t gonna start a riot and a half here. I get pretty dang ballistic myself when some random Bruno comes into me turf and ruins the landscape I love to see safe, sound and protected so much. In a way, I can relate to Kazami in this way: Whenever someone ends up damaging the forest more than necessary, bow howdy, do I get rowdy! Ain’t a stranger to scrapin’ an interloper’s face somethin’ fierce if they give me enough of a reason and a good excuse to do so." When Mokou came here, she was certainly not expecting to feel familiarity towards a location and the situation of this here gatekeeper and the landlord; given Gensokyo as a culture is very capricious and doesn’t take the first part of the "Give and Take" precept too seriously, it was almost soothing to see another well guarded bastion of nature around. "Though this ain’t a place you can get lost as bad as the Bamboo Forest, I would rule it no less dangerous, if the rumors of this Kazami are anything to go by. I made the right choice, since I can ill stand the sheer noise that plagues everywhere else" though the platinum phoenix to herself as she proceeded into the Garden.

"Hah, keep the danger in? I already like this place. In any case, well met, Elly. Ain’t gonna take no more of yer time, then. Happy nappin’. I was hopin’ I could inquire in some flower-related things, and it seems I am in luck, hah! See you ‘round, then.”

Well, that was an interesting situation. Unsure of how things would go at all, it was reassuring that even the gatekeeper wasn’t boring. That’s how the topsy turvy ol’ ‘Sokyo goes: The most exciting of endeavors and mystical of situations are as common as a baby crawling, and the domestic and mundane is made thoroughly intriguing.

Walking through the road very carefully placed so one wouldn’t go about stepping on flowers, the immortal could notice the amount of care placed into everything. It was both a big sign of dedication to a love most intense for the flora, and at the same time, for the more perceptive minds, a big, invisible “DON’T STOP ON THE GRASS” sign. The Garden’s reputation made sense. "Given the average Gensokyo inhabitant… Well, I bet they step on the grass quite often, which no doubt results in a beatdown, considering the amount of care placed in everything… Hah, if only people thought a bit more before being rash and disrespectful about the things others might hold dear".

And there it was: The mansion of Kazami Yuuka, sporting a strong Western vibe in its wooden ornaments and yet, a cozy feeling, the sort of abode that you only see in your dreams after falling asleep to the anesthetic power of a bedtime story.

Mokou knocked on the door after taking in the sights.

"Pardon! I’ve come to visit one Miss Kazami, is it cool if I go in?"

Hello Mokou. I was wondering, how did you first meet your friend Kagerou?

"This one time, I rolled up a newspaper and hit her in the snout one night that she was howlin’ so loudly at the moon, that I couldn’t sleep. After that, we hung out."

"In all seriousness, though, it was some years ago, not too many. Kagerou has been around for not too long, but not too little. I am unsure of how she came to the forest, we usually keep our pasts in the past, but what I knew is that she was sentient, not feral, and a hybrid. I… Have a soft spot for hybrids, and considerin’ she wasn’t a raging berserker, I was ok with her presence. I talked to her one day tellin’ her not to attack or eat any children that got lost in the Bamboo Forest, or else we’d have trouble. I made no mention of adults or anyone else ‘cause I can’t really go to a youkai and be like "hey, just don’t eat”, so I just let her know that kiddos were off limits. She gracefully agreed, which meant I didn’t have to exterminate her or beat her into submission by breakin’ every bone in her body, which was cool, ‘cause I enjoy cooperative people, so I told her I wouldn’t give her hell over anythin’ else otherwise. Unlike most Youkai, Kagerou’s pretty damn cultured and good at card games, so we ended up chattin’, makin’ small talk here and there, and is knowledgeable about the world of humans, so I took a likin’ to her and, before I knew it, we were doin’ stupid things together like stealin’ the Tengu’s geta and gettin’ in trouble. She’s pleasant, that Kagerou.”

"Mokou! Mokou! Why do you fight Kaguya? Isn't it better to forgive and forget? Have you ever eaten her? What does she taste like? Canablism is bad! Did you feel guilty about eating her or was it okay cause its her? What's a health nut? Is it some kind of nut that Eirin made? Why would you need one of those? You're immortal!"

"…You’ve got some dire guts comin’ to ask me stuff after the whole forest fire thing, but, that happened many moons ago, so no use dwellin’ on that for now, I reckon. You waste no time, I see. It’s somehow reassurin’ that everythin’ is right that at least one of you "you"s is doin’ the reporter thing."

"Now! I’m on a good mood, so, sure, let’s do this. There’s a big misconception on the reason of why I fight Kaguya. A lot of people, for better or for worse, seem to think it’s out of revenge, and while that ain’t entirely wrong, it’s not fully right, either. See, when I found Kaguya, three hundred years ago, I was not looking for her at all. It was complete coincidence that I came across her in this bamboo dump behind me, as if fate was throwin’ me a very welcome bone after all the terrible beatdowns it administered upon my shoulders. She was standin’ there, lookin’ at me, confused, ignorant as to who I was, while I knew her, oh, I recognized her immediately, the reason why everythin’ went to hell in a nicely packed envelope tied with a red ribbon, the catalyst of my descent into immortal morbidity and abandonin’ humanity for a mind putrid with subterfuge.”

"My heart was aflutter, aah~! It was incredible! It was ecstatic! You cannot comprehend how happy I was to see her! Houraisan Kaguya! In front of me, ripe for the slaughter!" — the phoenix’s normal stoic behavior was all but gone as she recalled this event — "I remember I just broke into laughter, genuine, happy laughter, because as far as I knew, this jerk was back in that shitty rock in the firmament! My only way to have any semblance of revenge on her was to steal the Elixir one thousand and three hundred years ago, and suddenly, she stood in front of me! What were the chances?! Nil! Zero! And yet, fate rewarded me! Or, perhaps, decided to toy with me some more, but that, that backfired if that was the case. I remember it as if it was yesterday. She asked me, after a few minutes of seein’ me laugh, "Hello there, are you ok? Are you lost in this forest?", and my response was simply…"

…Rippin’ her to shreds with my bare hands over and over and over and over and over and over and over! It was liberatin’, it was emancipation, once and twice and thrice! Haaaa! It was… Such a happy moment… Haaa… It makes me want to cry when I think about it. Ooh, the sheer horror on her face, mixed with the confusion, it was beautiful. Since then, I attacked her day after day, until she started fightin’ back at last, and since then, it’s been a carnival! Neither of us can go back, no, this joy of killin’ each other over and over is priceless. I honestly don’t hold anythin’ against her. Our fights… They are too fun and they serve a great cathartic purpose. She enjoys them now as well, so why should we stop them? Do not fix what ain’t broke, and all that.

"As fer yer other inquiries, I have taken chunks of her in the heat of combat. She tastes of Lunarian manure, unsurprisingly. The only real incentive to take chomps outta her is hearin’ her shrill screams of pain. Otherwise, no, I haven’t actually devoured her. Cannibalism is bad, definitely, but it wouldn’t actually be cannibalism if I were to eat her. I am a human… Uh, if you can still count me as such, and she’s a Lunarian. We are different species, so, it doesn’t count as cannibalism. Not that I care, she tastes like not-metaphoric, actual shit, anyway."

"A health nut is someone heavily invested in fitness and nutritious consumption, among other healthy things, such as people not interested in eating fecal matter-flavored princesses. Eirin doesn’t make health nuts, what she makes is Nuts of Health, a different thing, and those provide the nutrition of an entire day’s worth of proteins, potassium and other such essential things for the body. I don’t need ‘em, but I eat ‘em now and then ‘cause they taste pretty damn good, and being an immortal is havin’ a good time to stave off the overloomin’ sense of inevitability and despair that the eternity devoid of rest we will have to confront brings to our minds, so I think it’s ok to eat tasty things just ‘cause. Any other questions?"

Yo, I hear you had to fill in for Pac-Man when he wasn't doing so well one time. What was it like being... Pac-Mokou?


"First of all, you are cordially invited to the funeral. Humor died, and you just killed it with that try-hard attempt at the most unlikely pun since a monkey hit random buttons on a typewriter. Secondly, I actually had to fill in for a colleague once."



"Yahoo de gozaru! It’s the Super Mokou Siblings! We are going to beat the tar out of Ganondorf, ain’t we, bro?"


"Bowser, Mokou. We are out to beat Bowser and rescue the Princess. And then we will execute her for being an illegitimate princess, as we all know our sister, Asukabe-hime, is the true Empress."

And so Mokou and Umakai went on adventure of righteous heresy purging.



"…And that’s the first time I commit regicide! Well, not really, but who is keepin’ tabs on that. Yoshi meat is delicious, by the by."

Yes, hello, there was this "Gyro" fellow who had this message for you, Miss Mokou: "EAT SHIT, ASSHOLE! FALL OFF YOUR HORSE!"




"S-so this is how it ends…? I’ve never been owned so hard before, I…"

The Bamboo Forest of the Lost was quieter after that fateful day, as if it had lost its flame…

[[Blog over, thank you guys for sticking for so long.]]

((Will Tewi ever get to piggyback Mokou? Will Mokou ever be able to stop Koishi from trampling people? Will Spiders Yamame ever stop being an outlier? Why am I asking so many questions? Stay turned for more on Channel Dee Dee Dee.))


  1. Never. Mokou’s weak point is in her back and only Cirno can ride piggyback in there without triggering an ultimate explosion due to their contrasting elements keeping each other in check. This is 120% canon, my uncle is ZUN.
  2. Koishi cannot be stopped if cake is involved. This is how she wins HM, actually.
  3. Yamame hates online surveys and will sabotage them for as long as she can.
  4. I haven’t the slightest lick of a clue]]
Hey Mokou, have you ever written a book before?


"…Actually… No, I have not. I have read several, countless books in my life, but I have never penned one of my own, no. That’s… A really good idea, actually, I should consider this at some point."


"What I have penned, however, is a big… There’s no real name for it, but it is a big, big record I’ve been keepin’ since I was around one hundred and twenty years old. I’ve lost them several hundreds of times in my travels, of course, so I always have to start anew, and thus it is not complete, as I do not add previous information unless essential, but it’s basically a record of spells of my own fabrication, profiles on people, weaknesses and strengths, a sort of beastiary and… I guess you could say a diary."


"Diaries are very important for an immortal to have. It keeps our mind stitched to the present, among other things, lest our mind becomes atemporal, and we don’t want that."

Hello Firebrand, looks like the tables have turned. Granny threw out her back and now she needs someone to carry her.

"Worry not, my height-bankrupt friend! I have just the method to get you back to Eientei."

Have you ever seen a gun being fired before, dear reader? The explosion of gunpowder, followed by a projectile shooting out at obscene speeds and hitting a cat or something? This is exactly what just happened with Mokou just now, as he feet left the floor and she broke into a sprint Tewi-wards.

               —* BGM: Reach For The Moon - Immortal Smoke *—




Throwing her entire body weight in this drop kick that would make John Cena burst into green flames of envy, Mokou collided with the Inaba and, just as the kick connected, if one paid enough attention, one could hear the concept of Impact spitting its drink, looking at Physics and screaming "Did you see that shit!?"

At that moment, every high-speed train accident in the Outside World instinctively looked towards Mokou and whispered "…Mom…?"

The shockwave of the Ultimate Moko-tan Kick was such that time skipped three seconds to accommodate for this sudden phenomena. No doubt, Sakuya was wondering what the hell happened, she didn’t use her power, what was that about?

"Yeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaw! Tell me where ya wanna go, Tewi! Push it to the limit, baby! I will take you there!"