"…You’ve got some dire guts comin’ to ask me stuff after the whole forest fire thing, but, that happened many moons ago, so no use dwellin’ on that for now, I reckon. You waste no time, I see. It’s somehow reassurin’ that everythin’ is right that at least one of you "you"s is doin’ the reporter thing."
"Now! I’m on a good mood, so, sure, let’s do this. There’s a big misconception on the reason of why I fight Kaguya. A lot of people, for better or for worse, seem to think it’s out of revenge, and while that ain’t entirely wrong, it’s not fully right, either. See, when I found Kaguya, three hundred years ago, I was not looking for her at all. It was complete coincidence that I came across her in this bamboo dump behind me, as if fate was throwin’ me a very welcome bone after all the terrible beatdowns it administered upon my shoulders. She was standin’ there, lookin’ at me, confused, ignorant as to who I was, while I knew her, oh, I recognized her immediately, the reason why everythin’ went to hell in a nicely packed envelope tied with a red ribbon, the catalyst of my descent into immortal morbidity and abandonin’ humanity for a mind putrid with subterfuge.”
"My heart was aflutter, aah~! It was incredible! It was ecstatic! You cannot comprehend how happy I was to see her! Houraisan Kaguya! In front of me, ripe for the slaughter!" — the phoenix’s normal stoic behavior was all but gone as she recalled this event — "I remember I just broke into laughter, genuine, happy laughter, because as far as I knew, this jerk was back in that shitty rock in the firmament! My only way to have any semblance of revenge on her was to steal the Elixir one thousand and three hundred years ago, and suddenly, she stood in front of me! What were the chances?! Nil! Zero! And yet, fate rewarded me! Or, perhaps, decided to toy with me some more, but that, that backfired if that was the case. I remember it as if it was yesterday. She asked me, after a few minutes of seein’ me laugh, "Hello there, are you ok? Are you lost in this forest?", and my response was simply…"
“…Rippin’ her to shreds with my bare hands over and over and over and over and over and over and over! It was liberatin’, it was emancipation, once and twice and thrice! Haaaa! It was… Such a happy moment… Haaa… It makes me want to cry when I think about it. Ooh, the sheer horror on her face, mixed with the confusion, it was beautiful. Since then, I attacked her day after day, until she started fightin’ back at last, and since then, it’s been a carnival! Neither of us can go back, no, this joy of killin’ each other over and over is priceless. I honestly don’t hold anythin’ against her. Our fights… They are too fun and they serve a great cathartic purpose. She enjoys them now as well, so why should we stop them? Do not fix what ain’t broke, and all that.”
"As fer yer other inquiries, I have taken chunks of her in the heat of combat. She tastes of Lunarian manure, unsurprisingly. The only real incentive to take chomps outta her is hearin’ her shrill screams of pain. Otherwise, no, I haven’t actually devoured her. Cannibalism is bad, definitely, but it wouldn’t actually be cannibalism if I were to eat her. I am a human… Uh, if you can still count me as such, and she’s a Lunarian. We are different species, so, it doesn’t count as cannibalism. Not that I care, she tastes like not-metaphoric, actual shit, anyway."
"A health nut is someone heavily invested in fitness and nutritious consumption, among other healthy things, such as people not interested in eating fecal matter-flavored princesses. Eirin doesn’t make health nuts, what she makes is Nuts of Health, a different thing, and those provide the nutrition of an entire day’s worth of proteins, potassium and other such essential things for the body. I don’t need ‘em, but I eat ‘em now and then ‘cause they taste pretty damn good, and being an immortal is havin’ a good time to stave off the overloomin’ sense of inevitability and despair that the eternity devoid of rest we will have to confront brings to our minds, so I think it’s ok to eat tasty things just ‘cause. Any other questions?"